JESUS! Where are you? Everything in my life is going wrong, and You are nowhere to be found! Why aren’t You saving me?
It doesn’t take a whole lot of imagination to understand what the Apostles were thinking when they were caught on the sea smack dab in the middle of a raging storm, their boat filling with water from all sides. By the looks of things, those disciples were not going to make it through the night, and their Teacher was sleeping through the whole thing!
Terrified for their lives, they ran into the stern and woke Him up, yelling, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” (Mark 4: 38)
The disciples believed Jesus could save them, but they doubted that He would save them.
So, they took matters into their own hands, grasping for control. How often do we see the lightning, hear the thunder rumbling, and run around frantically trying to prepare for the storm that’s coming, plagued with anxiety every step of the way? When we are overwhelmed by the storm clouds in our hearts, if we know Jesus is with us always, why do we doubt that He will overcome it for us?
I’ve spent a good deal of my life trying to control things I was never meant to control. When I’m handed trials, struggles, and sufferings, I do everything in my power to get rid of them, to ease my pain, and to get to where I think I need to be. Especially when I don’t see God stepping in to save me, I have a hard time believing He ever will, and sometimes, I even get bitter with God. I doubt His love for me, like the disciples who question how much Jesus actually cares for them, since He remained asleep in their time of distress.
“He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ The wind ceased and there was great calm” (Mark 4: 39)
With a simple command, Jesus silences the storm. He responds to the despondent cry of His people.
“Then he asked them, ‘Why are you terrified? Do you not yet have faith?’” (Mark 4:40)
He has authority over even the winds and sea. Yet, we often do not believe He has authority, too, over the storms of our hearts.
While Jesus was sleeping in the stern of that boat as the chaos ensued around the disciples, He offered them something much greater than the immediate comfort of a calm sea – He lovingly gave them an opportunity to grow in trust. An opportunity to realize just how little they trust not only in His ability to save, but the absolute certainty that He will.
It is in the times that test our trust most that we grow most in confidence in the Lord’s Love and Mercy. God permits the strife, the storms, in our life out of great Love, knowing that we would never grow to sainthood if we were never given a reason to allow Him to grow in us the very virtue we feel we are lacking most.
So, even when we feel abandoned. Even when we feel lost and scared. Even when Jesus is napping, take peace in the fact that He is dreaming of us. There is not an instant that we are not on His most perfect mind and remembered in His most Sacred Heart.
He can save you. He will save you. He is bringing you closer to perfection in love more now than ever.
Jesus, I trust in You.
Always in love,